<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>But Right Now You’re Here, and It’s Real... Even if you don't want it to be by Luthifer666</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24680527">But Right Now You’re Here, and It’s Real... Even if you don't want it to be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luthifer666/pseuds/Luthifer666'>Luthifer666</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Autistic Benrey (Half-Life), Benrey has delusions, Comfort, Dissociation, HLVRAI, Half-Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware, Kinda, Nonbinary Benrey (Half-Life), Other, Paranoia, Running Away, also memory problems, also technically i headcanon all of them as autistic and im allowed bc im autistic, dont expect an update im TERRIBLE at fanfics so this is just kind of a edgy one shot, gordon kinda sucks at being comforting fucking loser, he DOES glitch and is still not human but the world resetting has never been a thing, he goes by he/they!, i also didnt rlly edit this so have fun seeing my mistakes and bad wirting, i dont think ill make another chapter for this, idk how in character this is but i dont care, it's just a way for his brain to run away idk man, mood tho, unreality</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:03:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,742</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24680527</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luthifer666/pseuds/Luthifer666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Benrey thinks that things will reset like they used to- but they wont. Have they ever?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey/Gordon Freeman, IF U SQUINT - Relationship, idk if its obvious lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>166</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>But Right Now You’re Here, and It’s Real... Even if you don't want it to be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hope yall like this stupid thing.</p><p>My hlvrai blog is Autistic-benrey on tumblr</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was weird. Everything was supposed to start over again, after Gordon and the science team successfully robbed banks the whole game was supposed to start from the beginning. Benrey would continue his usual script, his usual annoyance, his memory wasn't spot on when it came to the script so he forgot often if he's said any of this before. But this time something was different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the banks were robbed the timeline didn't revert, it continued, Gordon and the others went back to their lives. Benrey was confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He only realized how off he felt when he was alone, standing in the rain, he looked at the time. 10:30pm. The science team had finished tallying up the money from their heists and had all gone home. But here was Benrey, standing in the rain, waiting for the world to disappate in front of him and for his memory to fizzle away. But it didn't, he tapped his foot, he didn't actually technically HAVE a place to live. Why would you when before just now there wasn't a world programmed for you to live in? Benrey has memories of an apartment that doesn't exist, he has memories of going to a place with Jefferem, but none of it was REAL right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey looked at their nails, painted black, they felt the rain bounce loudly against his helmet, it sounded like hell and it felt like hell too. Time still hadn't reverted, and he was getting bored. He might as well go explore. They shuffled under a bus stop seating area and texted Tommy, Sadly there was no response. He knew that Tommy probably wouldn't mind him just showing up to sleep in his house- but he also felt weird about it. He only really felt weird about intrusion when it came to Tommy. He probably respected him the most. He did text the others, but the old people were asleep so they also didn't answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only one to answer was Gordon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What? No you can't fucking sleep over."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Challenge accepted, he immediately flew himself over to the apartments that Mr. Feetman himself occupied. Knocking on the door he heard an unhappy "AUUUUUUGH."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door opened, Benrey stood in front of the door, absolutely soaked in water. "Jesus dude, How long have you been outside?" Gordon asked, he was wearing a pretty casual outfit. Benrey barged themself in while Gordon talked. "You're getting water everywhere!" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What do you want me to do man. I can't control the dryness of my clothes."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I didn't say you could come in." Gordon adjusted his glasses, trying to keep himself together, but the tenses in his bones was an obvious sign that he wasn't. Entirely the happiest that he was in here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey just stared, looking around. It was the first time he saw a render of his apartment, in all honesty he was a bit surprised it wasn't a mess. "This your cringe kingdom?" He blurted out, hearing an unamused grumble, Benrey didn't even notice Gordon walking around- not until a towel was suddenly flung at his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shut up, Go get dressed and dry yourself off while I clean up this puddle."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey stared at him, then at the towel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You brought clothes right? Generally when you go to someone's house to sleep there you bring clothes and you don't get rain water on their floor."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Uhhhhhhhhhh No." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I didn't bring anything." In fact this was basically all he wore, he's only ever worn his guard outfit- which infact he was still wearing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon sighed and gathered himself "Don't move, I don't want more water in my house," Running off to a back room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey would've usually immediately fought that and start messing shit up- but he didn't, a bit occupied in the room around him, there was a bookshelf with a bunch of shitty science whatever's on it, some random kids toys hanging around, a coffee cup on the table, Gordons laptop wide open. He didn't get to observe more when the other rushed back in, tossing clothes at him. "Hurry and go change in the bathroom- those are old clothes. Haven't worn em in years."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey very slowly walked to the bathroom, which made the other pretty upset- why was he upset it was just water, it's not like he was getting... Slime. On the floor. He didn't understand it. Once in the bathroom he stared at himself in the mirror. It wasn't often he saw his own reflection. He slowly unclipped his vest, untied his tie and got dressed in the clothes Gordon gave him, he hadn't really thought about that fact he was wearing Gordons old clothes. It barely fit him- They were both fat, but Benrey was shorter in his more human-form.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was dressed in a baggy shirt about some shitty space show that looked pretty worn and had a hole or two in it, and pajama pants that he hiked up past his waste to make it fit better. Benrey had taken off his helmet for a bit- should he keep it off? But the feeling immediately entered his mind, he hated it actually, not having something on his head made him feel awful and staticy in a way he couldn't explain, quickly putting his helmet back on and leaving his wet clothes on the floor. Coming out of the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had the urge to snoop, but maybe when Gordon went to bed. He walked out into the living room and stared at Gordon, who had finished cleaning up the water and was now comfortable on the couch in shitty bunny slippers with his laptop burning a hole into his pants. Benrey stared for a bit before walking over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why did you even want to come over, man?" Gordon asked, not looking up at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey watched, taking way too long to answer. "I felt like it, why? Don't like to... hang out with bro's?" He moved and sat down on the couch, Gordon finally looking at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon stared for a moment before chuckling. "Still in your helmet? Doesn't that get like...Uncomfortable." He paused his typing. Benrey just shook his head as a reply. "...how?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I dunno man. It just feels weird without it on." Gordon's mind buffered for a bit, it's kind of how Gordon always feels weird when his hair isn't tied back- even when his hair was shorter then it is right now he tied it back all the time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey stared at the other, watching him type. "Nerd stuff huh." He said, monotone voice bouncing over to Gordon who sighed. "Nerd science stuff- aren't you jobless? Why are you doing science stuff with no job."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm not- It's not nerd stuff- I still have things to report and write- also science is great and-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ok whatever." He turned away, standing, Gordon grumbled and focused back on typing, only to look up at the guy turning and hooking up Gordon's old ps4. It wasn't OLD old, he just barely used it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Can you like- Can you ask before doing shit?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Huh? You said I could."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I literally didn't- whatever."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey continued his work before casually using Gordon's system to BUY and then play some game Gordon didn't recognize, he sighed. It felt...uncomfortable to have him in his apartment. He knew he couldn't get rid of him, so he just watched, but Gordon was still nervous- plus the whole time they were robbing banks he kept chasing him with knives and a fucking flamethrower. And now he's in his house- that's kind of fucked up, actually. Benrey played, Gordon tried to do his work but occasionally had to look up nervously to make sure Benrey was still there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At some point, around 11pm, Benrey heard Gordon's laptop shut and a lot of movement. Benrey paused and looked over, the taller was putting his stuff down on the table. "I'm going to uh. Head to bed. Use the couch if you sleep or something." Gordon stared at Benrey, who stared back, Gordon averted his eyes and quickly ran off to the bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey stared at the spot Gordon was before slowly back at the screen in front of him...He put the controller down. Listening to the sounds of whatever Gordon was doing in that bathroom- probably brushing his teeth or whatever. He bit at his hands, listening for probably too long, before hearing Gordon leave the room and shuffle into his room. Benrey stood up and walked around, looking at Gordon's apartment closely, It wasn't sparkly clean, but it wasn't messy either. There was a lot of science books, some shitty decor, nerdy shit you know?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a nice house though...He spotted a picture hung up on the wall of Gordon with a little boy, they were all dressed up and Gordon looked really happy to be there. He didn't look as tired or dirty, his hair was shorter...It was weird. He looked at the kid, that must be Joshua- Looks a bit shit...Damn why'd he say that? He doesn't know, he always does, he just says whatever is in his mind. He can't seem to control himself. Benrey took his time snooping, but too be honest most of his apartment was just normal, which sucked. He bet his room was better- but the guy was asleep- or trying too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey walked over to one of the doors, it was partially glass and led out to a balcony. He kind of wanted to be out there, despite the wetness. They didn't though, just watching it. They've never...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They've never seen rain before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why am I still here?" he whispered to himself, his fingernails digging into his arm, if he kept it up he'd draw blood. "It's supposed to go back." He turned, Yelping silently when he dug a bit too hard, despite being pretty much immortal- pain still existed, he was just kind of used to it.  Walking back down the hall and into the living area, Slumping over on the couch. "Go back. Wake me up...I'll be back in Black mesa, and work will start." Benrey clutched his legs closer to himself. Why wasn't it restarting? It ALWAYS restarted, the world would shift away the moment the robberies were over- the moment they said their goodbyes. But it's not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stared at the paused game screen. It reminded him of when his eyes would open- their face would slowly glitch into place and the world around them would grow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At some point hours later the most tired man came stumbling out of his room and basically threw himself into the bathroom, where the sound of a shower began screeching like a newborn demon. Benrey didn't look up though. Just waiting for it all to be over. Something had to have happened right- What happened differently this line? Nothing, that's right, he was supposed to be back, there wasn't supposed to be a city for them to go back to, it was all just Xen and Black mesa. He didn't even realize that Gordon was in front of him, asking if he was okay. They didn't move, just clutching their legs closer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey bu- Benrey? You okay? What's up? Did you sleep."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey's eyes slowly moved to look up at Gordon, straight into his eyes, Gordon looked like he barely slept that whole night. The taller stared back- albeit more uncomfy, he didn't like eye contact. "I have to go." Benrey said, suddenly standing up and running, phasing through the wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey w-You have my fucking clothes!" Gordon tried to reach out, just watching him slip passed. What was up with that? Gordon shivered, holding the cup of coffee he had made in his hands, Why did he care? Why was he nervous about the guy who's tried to kill him like 20 times over. He just looked so...catatonic, on the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon attempted to forget what happened all day, He texted the others in their group chat, he kept his focus on science and pretending that everything at Black mesa never happened. But as the day grew shorter he grew more concerned. Benrey wasn't the type to just run off and never ever come back- he was like a child, pretending to run away but getting scared five seconds later and coming back, which unsurprisingly has happened to Joshua when Gordon said he couldn't have ice cream for lunch. Sighing, he reached into his bag and looked close at his phone, messaging Tommy if he's seen Benrey. Tommy sent 12 thumbs up emojis, explaining that Benrey had been over all day; up until a bit ago- saying he was going to take a walk and 'go home'. Gordon, a bit relieved, nodded to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course Benrey would go to Tommy, they were supposedly friends, it took Tommy a very quick amount of time to forgive him, it was weird. Even Bubby and Coomer were still a bit wary of the creature called Benrey. Gordon sipped his fifth cup of coffee, tapping his foot and relaxing, okay, so there's no reason to worry. Not like he was or something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon folded up Benrey’s now-clean and dry clothes and shoved them on the table, he didn’t really know where to put the vest, opting to shove it under the table instead. He fiddled with his hair, wrapping it around his fingers for a bit. Still no sign of Benrey, He had to keep himself busy the rest of the day- but my god was it hard. He’d never seen the other like that, well, kinda. Benrey made it a habit to sort of not pay attention to what’s going on around him. But he was so ready to run away it was almost scary how fast he left. He didn’t even use the door. Why was he even worried? Yea he had sort of accepted the fact that Benrey DIDN’T die, but he still didn’t want to be friends, and yet here he was, worrying about him. He wanted to ask Tommy for Benrey’s phone number, if they even had one, but felt too embarrassed. Tommy was smart, he’d immediately pick apart his anxiety- in fact he probably already knew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gordon closed his eyes. Sighing. Flopping backwards onto the couch and stretching out, heaving breaths. He needed a nap is all, he’d had kind of a shitty night, so why not just sleep away a bit of anxiety. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except that DIDN’T happen, he woke up to shuffling close to him. Eyes shooting over and expecting some fucked up monster to be in front of him ready to steal his head; Benrey was there actually, trying and failing to quietly pick up his clothes. Currently attempting to move the vest away from the floor without making a lot of noise. “Benrey?” He could see the other visibly tense up, not flinch, just tense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, Man.” Benrey said, just grabbing their clothes and standing up straight. “I’mma go get dressed n’ leave.” he said pretty matter-of-factly. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Gordon shook his head, moving to grab Benrey’s arm, with that the other immediately backed away as fast as he could. “Don’t touch me.” Benrey said, his voice didn’t really change besides a slight shiver. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry- Wait.” Gordon said, keeping his hands to himself, he really did have a problem with just grabbing at people huh. “Are you okay? You’re acting weird.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>…”Whuh?” God damn it Benrey. “What? Uh- Oh. No, I'm fine.” They shrugged. “Can I go get dressed now your majesty?” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Gordon stared at him. “Fine but. When you’re done come here.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Benrey was quiet for a moment, then turned and walked away. Heading straight to the bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Back in the same mirror, Benrey stared at himself. Glitching a bit to reveal his many scars that he’d gained during black mesa, He already had some before- But...Now there was more. They always seemed to pile on in the exact same places. He ran a finger down his cheek, Looking at the closed bullet wounds. He didn’t know why his form scarred, but they did. Benrey just chose to hide them. They slowly got dressed. They had been out for hours without really realizing it. They had walked all the way back to Black mesa to break in. They wanted it to reset- but it didn’t, Being there wasn’t the same. He thought if he went back the world would realize this wrong, and the city he had just been in would delete itself and start a new file.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Benrey honestly didn’t know what his mind was talking about. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>All he knew was that he was scared. It wasn’t everyday something went wrong- There were events that maybe played out different, but everything was always the same. Benrey’s mind couldn’t handle it- He’d forget constantly what was going on, and he’d even forget about the time going back to that morning. He’d remember fully while in his boss fight, but by then it didn’t matter, he was going to die, he was going to bully the team during the bank robberies, then life would start again. His skeletons appeared behind him, staring with him into the mirror. The skeletons- Well even Benrey wasn’t quite sure what they were, He knew more were made when he died, and he knew that sometimes he could control them. But otherwise they mostly acted on their own- or even were like special spies for him. Were they him? Were they something else? He didn’t know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The skeletons watched, walking over and surrounding the smaller frame- it was cozy. Up until a knock hit the door and the skeletons disappeared, their sweet voices echoing away. Benrey glitched back to himself. Standing straight and adjusting his tie before opening the door. “You’ve been in here for 20 minutes, seriously dude I thought you got lost.” Gordon said, standing in front of Benrey.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re in my way, Mr. Feet.” Benrey said, joking away their current problems. Pushing past the other. Gordon watched, it burrowed holes into Benrey’s helmet. Being followed into the living room. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Sit down.” Gordon offered, but it actually sounded more like a command. The gamer sighed and sat with him. “What’s up?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Benrey starred. “What? Nothing bro. I just wanna uh leave.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Gordon tapped his foot, looking like he was going to die just asking this next question. “Are you sure? I can drive you home if you want.” Benrey starred again. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“HA. No…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Why?” Gordon shifted, “It’s late.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Benrey stared at his claw-like nail things and chipped off some paint. “I...Don’t.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“???”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I don’t got a place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You WHAT?” Gordon looked shocked. “Dude you could’ve said something- What the hell? You can stay-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“No. I aint, This isn’t going to last long bro just shut up.” Benrey glared, curling his legs closer to his chest. “I’ll just leave and it’ll be fine bro.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“What the hell are you talking- You sound like Coomer. You’re staying here. That’s final.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Benrey glared, but didn’t actually argue with him, just looking at his hands still. It was an awkward couple of minutes as the two kind of sat in heavy air. It was obvious Gordon was worried, and it was obvious something was wrong with Benrey.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Do you wanna talk about it?” Gordon asked quietly, trying to not sound mocking or anything. He was being genuine after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took Benrey a...While to respond. “Is it about this morning?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yea- NO. What’s it to you anyway.” Benrey said, trying to cave in on themselves. Usually they were better at holding back how they felt, but right now, the fear in their bones was unlike anything they’ve felt in a long long time. Probably more than anything they felt the first time they woke up at Black mesa.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Benrey...Come on.” Gordon huffed, getting a little frustrated, but god he was persistent.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter. Nothing here does.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Gordon listened, Which prompted Benrey to keep talking without really thinking. “When I go to sleep I’ll wake up, and we’ll be back where we once were- in Black Mesa, and I’ll be asking for your passport. It happens everytime. But not this time? I’m...Confused, I want to go back.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <em>
    <span>“They really do sound like Coomer…” Gordon thought</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><span>“...Benrey. I, Can see that you’re scared-” </span><span><br/>
</span><span><br/>
</span><span>“No I’m n-”</span><span><br/>
</span><span><br/>
</span><span>“Shut up for a second, Will ya?” Gordon quickly re-interrupted him. “I might not know exactly what you’re talking about, or feeling, or uh whatever. But… I’m sure it’s okay. Just… Focus on right now. Maybe you’ll wake up again or something- But right now you’re here, and it’s real.”</span><span><br/>
</span><span><br/>
</span>But Right Now You’re Here, and It’s Real... Even if you don't want it to be</p><p>
  <span>Benrey clawed at his arm, nothing around them was real. Nothing was. But maybe for once in Gordon’s stupid life, he was right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can...stay here. Alright? Maybe we can help you find a place. We got plenty of money from those Heists. That okay?” He tried to be as gentle as possible- the way Benrey acted reminded him of himself in a way, when Gordon got upset he kind of shut down. Not exactly the same, but he knew what it felt like; He might technically hate the guy- Or he should, but he wasn’t about to invalidate how he felt.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Benrey just nodded, Feeling Gordon carefully move his hands away from his arm. “How about you stay in the guest room…” He helped Benrey stand up, who still didn’t look super comfortable about being touched, but didn’t slink away. It felt so wrong not to hear Benrey say some stupid gamer bullshit, or even bully him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span></span><br/>
<span>Once Benrey was in the room, Gordon turned, listening to a soft cry muffled in a shitty pillow.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>His heart broke a little, He probably should tell Bubby and Coomer that something was wrong- Coomer was always saying weird shit like “none of this is real.” or whatever, Maybe he’d at least know what to say. Gordon didn’t know if it was just Delusions, or real, and he didn’t honestly want to think of it. But he just wanted Benrey back to his bastardous old self.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Right Now You’re Here, and It’s Real. He didn't like that- but he kind of did. He was here, the city around them was fully rendered. It was there. What was wrong with them?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>